neither night nor day

It's been roughly 30 hours since the Emergency was passed and our constitution held in abeyance. The streets are calm, but there have been about 500 people arrested, including some of the most vociferous opponents of the government: Aitizaz Ahsan, Asma Jehangir, and Javed Hashmi, amongst others. Rumor has it that the army went to arrest Imran Khan but he evaded them and is now in hiding; nobody knows where he is right now. All international news channels and local cable news channels are down. Only PTV State News is on the air. So far we still have Internet access and mobile phones but this might change tomorrow as the reaction to the emergency hits full throttle.

I went out today and everything seemed calm and normal, but it was more the calm before the storm than anything else.

It's odd to think that I've lived through three coups, the hanging of a prime minister, the assassination of a president, and the deposing of two other prime ministers. I've seen bombings, protests, strikes, and war, sanctions, curfews, and religious riots. Are these events normal, or are they extraordinary? What does normal mean, anyway, in a world where violence is currency and money is God?

We have to take it day by day, hour by hour. There's no certainty and only a false sense of security. I'm trying to stay brave and keep strong but to be very honest, I'm frightened. Relatives are calling us from America and telling us to think of leaving. Cousins tell me they are seeing horrible things on the news. I wouldn't know - we have no news save for what the government chooses to tell us. Friends are phoning and emailing and asking about me and my family. But we're all in God's hands, as ever. One man's machinations don't change that.

"Men make plots," says God, "but I am the biggest plotter."

I just want to live my life and die at the appointed hour, with peace and dignity. Is that too much to ask?